“What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.” – Abraham Maslow

How did you feel and what thoughts sparked off in your mind when you read that question? – ‘How fascinated about yourself are you?’

It is a question we may associate with arrogance and an egoic self-obsession of someone who’s predominately interested in themselves whilst expressing little care and attention for others.

Well, I’m here to tell you that being fascinated about yourself, for the right reasons of course, is the key to living an affluent, free, meaningful and rich (in the entirety of the word) life.

Feeling the Pain of Self-Incarceration

Some time ago I was just finishing an intense meeting with some close friends and work colleagues when inside I could feel an immense, overwhelming wall of pain and sadness hurtling towards me. I could feel its imminence and that in any moment I would break down. When it hit me I just began to cry uncontrollably as I made what was to be the second greatest distinction of my entire life.

I had known for some time that like many people my overall default emotional state for years had actually been one of dis-ease, of subtle negativity and self-doubt. This was something I had lived with unconsciously for years particularly after enduring the crushing experience of my girlfriend’s suicide a decade before-hand. I felt daily that negativity and dis-ease but wasn’t actually aware I was living in that way. On that occasion after the meeting with my colleagues what hit me was the distinction of what had been happening inside me.

I genuinely made, on a deep, internalised and emotional level (beyond just intellectual understanding) the distinction that this negativity and dis-ease wasn’t me, that is was caused by something other than me – by my egoic conditioned programs. For years that behaviour had caused chaos in my life and relationships. My grief in that moment was the recognition that my ego had for almost a decade been torturing me, oppressing me and causing me pain. It was like making the shattering distinction that your behaviours have actually been destructive and strangling to someone that you’d wholeheartedly believed for years you loved and care for. I felt a deep sense of sorrow, of dis-belief, of grief – feeling responsible for having massively oppressed the growth of an innocent being…. a little like having incarcerated a beautiful majestic wild eagle from birth, having tortured it and kept it locked up far from its true purpose and potential whilst ignorantly believing I was doing the right thing… The greatest and most humble bitter pill I’ve ever had to swallow.

The Taste of Freedom

What followed was the most astounding and liberating feeling of freedom I’ve ever felt in my life! I truly felt free for the first time… free from what? Free from my egoic conditioned programs!

So, what does fascination have to do with all this? There is so much out in the world to be fascinated about – nature, science, philosophy, travel, space, politics, media, films, technology… But what we fail to appreciate is that inside us resides an immense myriad maze of conditioned programs which if left unobserved, if they are not brought out into the light of our consciousness will actually imprison us and deceptively lead us to believe we are happy and free, yet sadly and ironically we’re far from it. It is when we become fascinated to explore what we don’t even know about ourselves can we ever begin to glimpse what freedom actually tastes like at a level we can’t even comprehend. It is through an intense fascination about our mental and emotional internal world do we become more aware. As we become increasingly more aware we begin to step out of the mind and become more free to create our future untainted by our past – we stop believing we are our programmatic behaviours and become more human, more engaged, more switched on, more free and more affluent.


If you’d like any help, guidance and support in developing your awareness do get in touch.

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I hope to walk this journey of inspired change with you one day soon.

With much warmth and enthusiasm,